you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
