Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
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If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
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I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.