Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.