Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Do you have feelings for this penis?