Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.