I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
