U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"