I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Okay so I just had a really great idea