I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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