We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i black out too much to be "responsible"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
