Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
