Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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