Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
