What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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