I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
