Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."

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(301): View more from Maryland

It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form

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(217): View more from Illinois

haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult

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(850): View more from Florida

Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field

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(909): View more from California

the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe

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