...is it true? will i see you next weekend
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.