i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You just made me feel so damn special
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
