If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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