omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
