Come see our sink grown plant.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
