Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
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