Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
