She said her name was "party"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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