Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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