This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
