Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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