Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize