would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
