If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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