im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
