my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
