Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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