I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
