$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
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Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
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I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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