so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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