I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize