i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
