check it out our google latitudes are spooning
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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