I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
