Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
