is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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