I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize