So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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