Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
