doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
