He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
