Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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