i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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