Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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