lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
