1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
