I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
