if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
