Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
