A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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