dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I should be sponsored by Trojan
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
