"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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