He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
