I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize
