Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize