why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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