We need to rekindle our bromance
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
